i cant say anything.

its weird. eversince band ended its boring. like nothing really to look forward to in life haha! i think i mentioned this before. but really its like i see him and we cant really say anything. because we barely see each other and were not caught up in each others life anymore. so its like".............hey...........uhh.... alryt imma go..see ya."
thats pretty much it. no like "OMG" no no no way. now i find myself getting tummyaches a lot lately. i realized that i had it at the end of 3rd period before band. and lunch and surprisingly and suckingly everytime i think about him i get these tummyaches. i hate it. i mean WTF why?! sheesh. well anyway yea. apparently i had a bf for one day and one night. i dont even consider it a relationship. it was stupid. i get the stupidest,wimpiest confessions :[
1) thru email===LAME
2) thru text from a fat 6th grader=======LAMER
3) thru IM and i havent seen him for like 6 months and suddenly he asks me out?=====LAME/DESPERATE

ahhh... it makes me feel shitty. luckily i still rely on my friends. and hopefully they dont feel like there's a big amount of weight on their shoulders cause without them id probs bang my head agains the wall. and you know what i cant say anything about what i feel to any of my family members cause they're just gonna think im stupid. ehh and i have to practice. which is gay cause i suck. well good day and God Bless:]

Drama is stupid..so why do we have it in our lives?

i can manage for korean,asian movie drama. haha but in real life do we really have to make a big deal out of small incidents? why can't we just all get along? i mean like hakuna matata to the max right? No, thats now how we wanna live. we have to have a little bit of cursing, yelling,calling people out and then crying? really.. maybe im over exaggerating but i guess we have or cause drama because of something we want but dont get. or jealous. Jealousy is an evil thing. especially with your loved ones or the ones you love but you know they dont love you back but instead love someone else, or your friend perhaps? that sucks. thats how im feeling right now. its stupid of me to get pissed and leave the guy and not hang and not do anything just watch him from afar with many other girls. im being a moron right now. and enough drama. just no more. i am officially giving up on him. i am a wishing hypocrite that talks crap and yet does it herself. Lord forgive Me.

Okay! so new topic! its the season for giving and loving and its just christmas! :D haha i love my friends and cant say how thankful i am for them all!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

God Bless! :D

The Blog on Loneliness and other stuff

why im doing this:

1) oral reading report. this'll help me understand the article more if i blog about it

2)i guess its true haha? we'll see

LONLINESS IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH:(sciencedaily.com)

ermmm how to start this. Basically lonliness is bad for your health ..END no wait.... aryt so lets get in depth... OOOH fun fact sorta...

"Hawkley and Cacioppo then took urine samples from both the lonely and the more contented volunteers, and found that the lonely ones had more of the hormone epinephrine flowing in their bodies. Epinephrine is one of the body's "fight or flight" chemicals, and high levels indicate that lonely people go through life in a heightened state of arousal. "

ahha kinda interesting. so i guess go take a urine test and see if you're truly lonely and stop saying it just for attention[:

Okay my words now.. according to the article when we're lonely we rely on a restorative processes like sleep. Yea, the lonely's sleep longer but not as good as when they were alright. okay im done for now no more hw for me!

DON'T SAY THE "H" WORD

okay sooo i guess imma rant haha basically thats what the blog is for right? hmmmmm sooo friday was filming for my bro's GC it was aryt but i failed as a gangster and tried to kidnap violet (lauren) and i TRIED by touching her and walking?? okay i win! xD mmmmm i rode in alan's awesome car! i was like srsly amazed cause its awesome! hahaha!! I LIKE YOUR CAR ALAN! i miss band... okay band geek here.. blehhh ....school tomorrow F IT. rally was on friday too haha kinda boring.. sat in the sophomore side cause its better.... next lets go with the juniors then mah seniors haha! i watched GC's today. they're so interesting. i gotta dance more. im learning freestyle -popping,locking and dropping- xD haha i gots to get better in cwalking tho cause i sauck. sucha poser. well have a good day

God Bless

i freken place my trust in you...

i dont know if i should trust people now...i've been hurt to much to prove this statement true. If only people would keep their word maybe the world would be a better place and hatred wouldn't exist as much. Maybe this is the cause of wars and fighting. People don't keep their word..they lie in their damn face. Which i find stupid...maybe its carma... seriously, people need to start doing the right thing its about time to start something new. people that know shit are just a dent to the world. Maybe if they try to learn or do something perhaps the world will function better. MM today's a new day... i havent had any dreams while i sleep...all i see is darkness. plain black while being unconcious.(sp?)
There's nothing to look forward to in life xD i feel like a band geek...marching band season is over for 2009. It's gonna be hella different next year..hope its better. highschool can get so dramatic..last year iin 8th grade i had no drama wat so ever cause it was all about laughter and fun.. now its freken school and drama between relationships and llove triangle shit. how bout we uhh like have fun and KEEP OUR WORD. i forgave you i just cant get my mind off of it.
SHOUT-OUTS:
stephanie hsu: girl, what would i do without you..your like the best! haha your always there and i feel so helpless cause when you coome to me im just stuck. your the best and dont change(:
lauren lacanilao:ateh?! haha what would i do without you too! freken ate to the max! haha stay the same and dont change yea? luv ya;) cutiee patutiee (sp?)
sabrina dok: PARTY MATE! were gonna go to a bombin party one day together...yer always on mah mind cause you chill like dat! thanks for being the only sabrina i know
sandra vargas: MOM! tear tear this man brok mah heart! sandra: you broke the rule! HAW HAW thank youuu for being the mom you are cause its never gonna end! AND MAN WILL I NEVER HAVE YOU BEHIND ME AGAIN! SAY NO TO BUTTRAPE!
albert tung: gawsh i freken love youu! whut would i ever do without you...i dont know..honestly... your the best and we gotsa hang okay?! your so talented and im jealous ahha! thank yu! :D

yey for crappy days...

mmm sooo i wake up on black friday and find that my dad bought my older bro a camera that i always wanted and he bought me the battery one....i guess its okay and im thankful i have a camera its just that i like my bros one better hehehe... hmmm and my friends... oh dear my friends... i hope they get better....i hate myself cause im so dang selfishh... sorry guys and now that bands over.. im so lonely and life is boring i cant go out with friends as much....im sucha band geek but i love the band... how they have changed me and helped me through out life so far... and omfg i want my seniors back dont freken leave me!!! garrr!! RAWR. fear me...
RANT ON NOISY PEOPLE.:
soooo i hate it when were trying to sleep and there's freken noisy people hat dont give any consideration to those that want to rest...and yet they scream and laugh like no one is TRYING TO SLEEP!garr.... so we're in the bus and in the back , there are the idiots that have to notice the whole entire bus that they needa pee or STOP TOUCHING ME! and shit like that... and when they call your name cause you happen to be that idiot's friend you wake up like crap! and then they start blasting that damn song by taylor swift on the damn iHome. Then they start playing that damn hotel 66 game shit.. and they KNOW they're gonna get scared but they only play for the attention of guys..AND THEN they start playing the stupid STUPID game of nervous game and they end up touching it there and what happens GIGGLING AND EWIEEE DONT TOUCH MY .... yea so those are the noisy ppl i hate esp when im trying to sleep....
THE END(:

hmmm my seniors(:

man the band season is almost over..... ......... .................. so sad haha imma totally miss my seniors cause they're so chill BAHHHHHH T^TT *sniffle* they're like siblings dadadadadada
ill srsly miss you guys haha already thinking about it to OH GOSH..... ba dum badum ba dumm

Im still searching..

I will find You, I have found You and I love You, Lord.

I've been going to church lately, passing by it as i cross to go to the library. I figured why not visit Him when He's just waiting for us. It is so peaceful and so relaxing i wish i can live there with no worries. I feel so redeemed so happy in there kneeling and praying. The Lord really has good deeds and so do I. Many elders have been staring at me as i enter. I told my mom and she said they dont really see much teens going to church. I Love my religion and the Lord.